Meltdown

Well most of you know me as the girl who is always happy and cheerful and always smiling. What you don't know is that most of the time it is an act. I am the type of person who puts everyone else first before myself. Now Josh he will ALWAYS be first no matter what.

My problem is I put others feelings before my own. Well I guess I held everything in for too long because I BLEW this weekend. I just stopped and bawled my eyes out. Joey had no clue what to do. He just stood there and hugged me.

I do the best I can and that is all I can do, but sometimes I need some "ME" time.

I miss a lot of my BBC Mommy friends. A lot of them have left the boards (for good reasons), and now if I post there I feel alienated. I have my APA friends but I am not as close to them as I am to my BBC friends. I barely have any IRL friends even though I did join a mommy group, but they rarely meet when I can or the event they are doing Josh is way too young for. I would try to find another group but this one is the only one in my county.

Well onto my weekend.

Friday night ~ we stayed home and relaxed.

Saturday ~ We drove to Burlington County, NJ to see my Mother-in-law, her husband, my sister-in-law, and her husband. It was nice to see them. We ate lunch. Watched Josh play in his jumperoo and later watched him eat his solids. They saw him roll over and all the other things he has been doing for some time now. Joey drove us home and my parents came over (they live accross the road from us) and visited for a bit. They also took Josh for the night (I was about to burn out if I didn't get to sleep in...Joey forgot he was supposed to get up with Josh in the AM so he got to sleep in 3 days in a row) Joey works Sun-Wed so my only choice was to let my parents watch him.

Sunday ~ Wake up refreshed after 12 hours of uninterupted sleep...haven't done that since I was pregnant. My mom calls around 9:30am and leaves a message. I go over to the house hear Josh whining a little and look around the corner at him he sees me and his face just lights up and he smiles and laughs at me...my little guy was so happy to see me. So I find out that we are going to go visit my sister at school...actually we went to Middletown...the halfway point...and we ate at Ruby Tuesday's for Lunch at 11:00am. Kaley played with Josh as much as she could...I know she misses him a lot...and I miss her a lot too. Then we left Middletown and returned to my parents. Did some coupon clipping...I am the coupon QUEEN it seems. and by 4:30 Josha ndI left to go Grocery shopping. Now we did our shopping a little different this time. instead of putting the car seat carrier on the cart I wore Josh in my Infantino Carrier...Oh Josh had a BLAST. He was grabbing for things and laughing smiling and just being all around happy. Some people looked at me funny for wearing him but who cares. One lady asked me why I was doing that I told her it was what suited us. Well we got home and Josh was acting hungry so I fed him changed him and few minutes later he just started crying bloody murder! I try to consol him but nothing worked. I noticed he was knawing as hard as he could on anything he could so I figure it is teething...he has 2 teeth they just haven't broken the gums yet...I think they are now. He also seems to have a slight fever. I lay him in his crib, give him some Tylenol and he calms a little but is still crying. I couldn't do anything so I had to let him just cry it out. I broke my heart so much to hear him but there was very little I could do. I did give him some teething tablets and eventually he calmed down. Then his daddy got home and oh how happy he was. He fell asleep around 8:30pm and I stayed up to watch my guilty pleasure "Rock of Love with Bret Michaels" then fell asleep shortly after 10pm.

Now after my meltdown I feel a little better but not fully. I just need to learn to put myself first.

Sorry if this was a little boring but not much went on this weekend.

Hugs and Kisses to all!